


Behind Blue Eyes

by funfan



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Feelings, M/M, Making Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-06 19:33:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4234023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funfan/pseuds/funfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marco and Seb have a quarrel and Seb chooses a very special way of reconciliation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Behind Blue Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt of writing a fanfic around a song, hopefully I did decently enough. :-) I tried to describe the song, how it sounds, but I'd recommend to listen to it, as well. The title is (obviously) 'Behind Blue Eyes' and I prefer the original version by The Who (since it is closer to what Seb plays), but you can listen to the cover from Limp Bizkit, too. In any case, please let me know what you think of my little work. :-)
> 
> Dear Blue Night! You've been through rough and trying days, I hope this little one-shot will lift your spirits a bit and that you aren't having enough of these two boys. :-)

Marco watched from the corner as the pub slowly filled up with people. It wasn’t a big place at all and it wasn’t be that hard to get it packed, but he still couldn’t hide his pride as he realized that these people had come here to see and hear _his_ boyfriend – among others. If only his thoughts hadn’t been clouded by other troubling memories… the memories of their first real quarrel.

It was about something they talked so much and Marco couldn’t quite tell why things had escalated this far this time. But, Seb’s words still rang in his ears when he had accused Marco that he might never come out. And, his own more horrid words echoed in his mind, as well.

_Not that you would mind that so much! You never act like you want a more serious relationship! You are definitely not up for a life together! I’m not even sure if you love me at all. Why would I risk my career and my whole existence for a man like that?_

It was all that Seb had been willing to listen to before he had stormed out of Marco’s house and, truth to be told, the blonde couldn’t blame him for it. He had regretted his words the moment he had uttered them, but at the same time, he couldn’t deny their rightness.

He had this fear about Seb’s real feelings. Of course, he knew that his boyfriend was the more reserved type when it came to relationships. He was the kind of a guy who would tell you he loved you once and then inform you if things changed in any way. So far, Seb hadn’t mentioned any change, but Marco wouldn’t be surprised if it would come to that in the near future.

He had a very bad view on the small stage in the opposite end of the room, with the crowd gathering around the edge of the podium, awaiting Seb’s band. Marco had ordered a beer beforehand and he had told the waiter not to mind him. He wanted to stay in the shadows, not noticed by anyone. He didn’t even know why he had come here. After their row, he hadn’t been in the mood of doing anything, but at the same time, he had known very well that someone had been expecting him here. Seb. No matter how hard Marco tried to convince himself that the annoying raven-haired man wasn’t the most important part of his life, everything not connected to football pointed at Seb. It was frightening and comforting at the same time. On one hand, Marco was afraid that Seb had taken the control over his life and he simply couldn’t get out of his grip any longer. But on the other hand, if there was anyone Marco wanted to rule his life, it was Seb. He had total trust in the younger man and Seb showed him time after time that he understood what Marco needed more than the blonde did. It didn’t make any sense to him, but he tried to listen to his heart and it told him that he loved this setting and that he was very satisfied with it.

A big applause brought him out of his musings as the band stepped on the stage and started the first song. Marco was no admirer of rock music and he couldn’t tell the difference between a good and a bad performance. All he was sure of was that the people in the pub liked what Seb’s band was doing and that could only mean good. His boyfriend had once tried to explain to him what kind of music they were playing, but Marco had been lost after Seb had told him about two subgenres of rock. For Marco, two things were obvious. Firstly, the music was _loud_. And secondly, Seb enjoyed it.

They played mainly covers and Marco recognized some of those. And then, they also inserted a few of their own songs, written almost entirely by Seb. Marco had always been surprised how a reserved man like Seb could open up completely in his lyrics. Maybe it was his therapy for sharing his feelings, not with one confidential friend the way Marco liked to do it, but with the whole word without ever really admitting that those were _his_ feelings.

The finishing chords of their last song slowly faded and their singer Simon introduced every member of the band so that each of them got his own separate applause, with Seb’s and Simon’s being slightly louder than those of the others. Marco grabbed his coat, ready to sneak out before the crowd would start moving and probably notice him, when he heard his boyfriend’s raspy voice from the speakers. Seb spoke hesitantly, but with confidence at the same time as if he was sure he had to do what he had in plan, but at the same time, he wasn’t sure if this was the right way to do it.

“Well, I don’t usually do this–” he started “In fact, I think this is the first and the last time anyone hears and sees me doing this, but there’s a special someone who deserves a song from me– and well, I hope it finds its addressee.”

He smiled weakly and started to play some melancholic music. He had no doubts whom Seb had been talking about and he felt all strength leave his legs and he slumped down back on his chair when Seb started to sing. He didn’t have the most perfect voice in the world, but he felt the text of the song and it suited him perfectly.

 

_No one knows what it’s like_

_To the bad man_

_To be the sad man_

_Behind blue eyes._

 

The music was so simple: only Seb and his guitar. And yet, it warmed Marco’s heart like no song could ever do and he knew the reason: this song was for _him_ even though Seb closed his eyes as he let himself be absorbed in the notes. He didn’t search for Marco and he didn’t need eye-contact because he was singing to Marco’s soul.

 

_No one knows what it’s like_

_To be hated_

_To be fated_

_To telling only lies._

 

Tears welled up in Marco’s eyes as Seb finished the last line, noticing himself in the lyrics. Living in secrecy had never been his intention, it had only turned out to be this way. He couldn’t be the man he really was and needed to be and he had accepted it a lot earlier. But, there was nothing that stood between Seb and his coming out. Seb didn’t have anything to lose with being with Marco publicly and now the blonde understood why his boyfriend wanted him to come out so badly.

 

_But my dreams_

_They aren’t as empty_

_As my conscience seems to be._

_I have hours, only lonely_

_My love is vengeance_

_That’s never free._

 

A tear escaped Marco’s eye and it trickled down his cheek without the footballer even minding it. This was the most sincere confession he would ever get in his life and it was so special coming from Seb. It felt as if Marco was standing in Seb’s place, watching the world with his eyes. And what he felt, wasn’t pleasant at all…

 

_No one knows what it’s like_

_To feel these feelings_

_Like I do_

_And I blame you._

 

Marco’s heart missed a beat as the entire band shouted the last word and this time, Seb opened his eyes for a brief moment, sending a cutting glance towards Marco. The blonde gulped and mouthed a silent sorry, knowing that Seb would feel it in his heart. They were connected in so many ways, they could already read each other’s thoughts.

 

_No one bites back as hard_

_On their anger_

_None of my pain and woe_

_Can show through._

 

Marco felt like crying. Suddenly, he felt all the sorrow Seb carried on his shoulders and he wanted nothing more than to walk over to his boyfriend and take him in his arms, sharing this burden with him.

 

_But my dreams_

_They aren’t as empty_

_As my conscience seems to be._

_I have hours, only lonely_

_My love is vengeance_

_That’s never free._

 

Simon started to sing, as well and his voice complimented Seb’s perfectly. Marco found it hard to breathe and his tears now flowed uncontrollably. The music got more intense and powerful and sped up just a little bit, turning into a desperate cry.

 

_When my fist clenches, crack it open_

_Before I use it and lose my cool_

_When I smile, tell me some bad news_

_Before I laugh and act like a fool._

_And if I swallow anything evil_

_Put your finger down my throat_

_And if I shiver, please give me a blanket_

_Keep me warm, let me wear your coat._

 

The whole crowd went crazy and they shouted and cheered and Marco would have liked to join them, but he was simply too preoccupied with his own thoughts to do it. As Seb kept hitting chords full of power, Marco’s mind raced. He wanted to do all these, he wanted to be there for Seb all the time. And as the music slowed down, he looked at the love of his life, now keeping his eyes fixated on him, singing the words to him in an unmistakable way.

 

_No one knows what it’s like_

_To the bad man_

_To be the sad man_

_Behind blue eyes._

 

As the last notes faded, everyone went silent, only to erupt in an ecstatic cheer. Seb bowed casually before he walked off the stage. Marco sprung up and ran out of the pub, going around the building and stopping in the small parking lot in the backyard where Seb stood, his back to the walls and shaking with the surge of emotions. Marco walked to him and took him in his arms, letting him bury his head in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent.

“Seb, darling, this was the most wonderful thing I have ever received.” Marco said, his voice breaking over and over again. “I’m so sorry for what I said. I wish there was a way to take it back.”

Seb pulled away from Marco and looked at him completely bewildered. “Who told you that I was singing about us, huh?” He winked at him with a crooked grin spreading on his face and it broke the tension between them. Marco burst out laughing and he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend convinced that he could never leave this man who might have been a fool sometimes, but at least, he was his fool.


End file.
